Rant Alert! Proceed with CAUTION.
Have you heard this before?
"What is this world coming to? (followed by a complaint). Or If there's one thing wrong with people, it's (you fill in the blank)."
I hear similar statements from friends, on Facebook, Twitter and on the news. To varying degrees, what I hear falls somewhere on my personal list of Things I Don't Like. Sometimes I can see both sides of a particular complaint. Sometimes I "see" it but am not as passionately opposed as the person who voiced it. But maybe I don't agree at all. Nearly everyone has a pet peeve agenda, and I don't expect to agree with everyone, nor do I expect everyone to share all of mine.
Having said that, here is one I feel strongly about. If there's one thing wrong with people and our country, it is our ridiculous sense of entitlement.
This is no new rant of mine, so what sparked this particular one?
I read a Letter to the Editor in our local newspaper Monday morning that astonished me. Infuriated me actually. Those reactions are the inspiration for this blog post. Let me recap the letter.
Elderly travelers passing through our city, the mid-point of their destination, were stopped and given a $25 ticket due to a seat belt violation. Based on what the letter writer called a "decision" by the city policeman (to give them a ticket instead of a warning) these tourists will no longer make a stopover here, thus depriving the city of "their money." The letter writer acknowledged that her husband was wrong not to buckle his seat belt, but a warning would have done "just as much good."
Now, I know no one wants a ticket. No one likes getting a ticket even when they know they broke a law (speeding, anyone?). That's a given. But seriously? First, she infers that the policeman made a "decision" - all on his own judgement, apparently - to give them a ticket. Targeted THEM. FLEECED them of $25 just to INCONVENIENCE them. Because what, after all, does a seat belt law mean? (It's for others, right?) And second, they ran home to Missouri and asked their state trooper son to agree with them. Shame on him that he did (or at least, that's what she wrote. I find it hard to believe that a state trooper would actually agree).
This is wrong on so many levels.
It's like the old "if you don't play the way I want, I'll take my toys and go home" mentality. That may have worked for children in the sandbox, but that doesn't mean it's okay or right for adults. We're supposed to have gained some maturity and learned some values in the interval between the sandbox and the adult world. But the prevailing sense of entitlement we've developed (we're probably all guilty of it to some degree) gets in the way.
I can do anything I want, even if it hurts or affects others, because it's what I want.
I'm entitled to my own opinion ...
It's a free country, so I deserve ....
It's the other guy's fault (he did it first).
It's a stupid law, anyway.
Everyone else does it (so that makes it okay, right?)
The government should pay for it (as long as they don't raise my taxes).
It's not fair ...
There's a reason the word selfish begins with self!
We feel we are entitled to whatever it is that we want - that we deserve our wants - regardless of how that might affect other individuals, the group as a whole, or the community where we live. We see this attitude in all aspects of life, both public and private. Entitlement is the attitude behind racial prejudice and other kinds of minority biases. It's one cause of the current "rape culture" so unfortunately prevalent in the news headlines. It is the reason for bullying in our schools and the workforce. It's the foundation for politicians who misuse their power and position to push their own agenda, for evangelists who just preach a "name it-claim it" style of gospel, for parents who believe their child is the only one in the classroom and can do no wrong, and for husbands and wives who demonstrate little commitment to the marriage (do you know the definition of the word marriage? It's a BLEND, folks, a compromise). This growing sense of entitlement has induced a generation or more of kids and adults who have not learned to take responsibility for their own actions (we all make mistakes), and it is a vicious cycle. As our personal sense of responsibility ebbs, our personal sense of entitlement grows ... and eventually becomes a corporate problem.
Entitlement is the reason ridiculous law suits clog up court agendas. A woman spilled her hot coffee, it burned her, and she sued. The woman felt entitled. It was not her responsibility when she spilled her coffee. Well, duh. Engage brain here; coffee is hot. But McDonald's must now warn people in writing that their coffee is hot. Multiply that type of law suit a zillion times.
A good Samaritan stops to help an injured driver. He's not a doctor, just a person who sees a need and wants to help. He acts - perhaps trained medical personnel would do it differently, but none are present - he's sued for attempting to help someone. Result: pass on by when you see someone lying by the road after an accident. Turn the other way when you see a classmate bullied at school. Close your ears if a friend is teased or harassed at work.
Multiply that sense of entitlement a zillion times and you have what's wrong with our country today.
It is the reason a woman wrote a complaining letter to the local newspaper when a policeman ticketed her husband for not buckling his seat belt. She implied her reasons (i.e. justifications, excuses) ... they were "older now." They had just stopped and he forgot. They were going slowly. They were admiring the "lovely" city sites. They were tourists, spending money to boost the city's economy. They believe the policeman "decided" to ticket them, rather than seeing what he did as his job, enforcing a state law. Bottomline: we expect you to overlook our mistake because we were doing all these other good things. We expect you to let us get away with breaking a law: the policeman doesn't have to let others get away with it when they're caught, but we deserve special treatment because of all these "reasons" above.
By the way, Kentucky has had a "primary" seat belt law since 2007. This means a person can be stopped and cited if anyone in the car fails to buckle a seat belt. The ticket can not exceed $25 per person. The letter writer believes they should have only been warned. There WAS a warning period ... it was over in 2006. I looked it up and found that Missouri has a "secondary" seat belt law, meaning that a ticket can only be issued for being unbuckled if the car was stopped for some other cit-able offence, like speeding, for example. The letter writer may not know the difference. However, the law doesn't usually find "But officer, I didn't know" as an excuse. Attention travelers: most states have seat belt laws. It is your responsibility to follow the laws of the states you pass through and to understand that there are consequences when you don't! It might also be helpful - when whining on the editorial page - to remember that old adage: "Better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."
Teach your children that they bear responsibility and reap consequences for their actions. It will help them grow into mature adults. Teach them that an entitlement mentality fosters a poor grasp on reality; the bigger the chip-on-the-shoulder, the ruder the wake-up call when their denial and sense of special-ness meet the real world. Teach your children the value of sacrifice and goodwill, of kindness and personal responsibility and compromise. Show them by word and deed that you believe it yourself. That will help break the chain in the increasing sense of entitlement spreading like kudzu in our country.
And maybe then they won't grow up to write whiny letters to the editor.
Rant over.
