Waiting. It's hard.
It matters little what you are waiting for - whether Christmas morning or the proverbial "other shoe to drop."
It's still hard.
I wait to do things. I diagnose it as mild procrastination. Mild, meaning I put some things off until close to the last minute, but I rarely put everything off. The "pleaser" part of my personality won't allow me to totally blow off some people, things, events or chores. I feel compelled to finish (thank you, Mother and Daddy!) the course. But the "selfish" portion quickly cuts to the chase and recognizes allowable shortcuts; it's a sort of "good enough for what it's for" philosophy that makes it work. And so procrastination is involved.
Not a particularly gratifying trait, huh.
I anticipate. The Brain constantly runs interference ... if they do this, I can do this. Or I'll try that. If he/she says that, I will respond with this. If. If. If. But you get that I don't call this worry, right? In my book it spells "anticipation." And anticipation means "preparation." Not being caught short, i.e. success.
Nothing to brag about there.
And so I wait.
To hear.
To say.
To do.
To think.
To wonder what will be done about this or that.
But this I know. Waiting should be a time of reflection, a time of preparation for whatever Good Thing is to come, not a means to rush a job or assignment just to get it over with and done.
Christmas is approaching. It is not just a holiday where we rejoice over No School or a vacation from work. It is so much more than that.
This time in the church calendar is known as Advent, the time when we anticipate the celebration of our Savior's birth. A time of Hope. Of Love. Of sacred thankfulness that "He loved the World so much." It deserves so much more of me than my usual.
And so THIS YEAR, as we move toward the celebration of that miraculous first Christmas morning, I resolve not to lose sight of the real reason for the season. Not to murmur about a long "to do" list ... I'm retired; there is plenty of time if I don't procrastinate. Not to moan about crowds of rude shoppers or the traffic ... there are plenty of cheerful smiles and "Merry Christmases" if I look for them. Not to spend more time worrying about gifts than time spent giving ... possible if I keep the true focus of the season close to my heart and mind.
I mean to experience Family. The delight in a child's big eyes, the glee over choosing just the right gift, the appreciation for parents, siblings, children, grandchildren, cousins and friends. I imagine the Father felt the same as He prepared to send His Son.
I mean to enjoy the sights and sounds of Christmas ... even the continual Carols played in all the stores and ditto, the extreme lighting displays. Even the shopping, the gift wrapping, the viewing of "White Christmas" and "Holiday Inn" (not It's a Wonderful Life, however) again, the Hallmark channel, and the few Christmas variety shows on TV these days. Yes, even the minimum cooking and necessary baking (ha!) I will do. And Santa ( I still believe!). All these things, while not always wonderful in and of themselves, are beautiful, family memory makers. Something I will cherish against the inevitable change and loss in the years to come. I imagine the Father shakes His head over His children's silliness, but loves us anyway.
I mean to absorb the events at church that mark Christ's birth ... the giving, the Advent messages, the youth programs, the hymns and special music on Sunday morning, the fellowship of a church family experiencing joy and sorrow for each other, the blessed peace of the Good News ... and allow them to cover my soul. I imagine the Father smiling tenderly as we honor Him.
This year I will enjoy the waiting, the advent of Christmas. And I hope you will, too.
Merry Christmas y'all!
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