Misinformation, Outright Lies and Unconditional Love

There's a campfire song by Kurt Kaiser ('69) that most church camp attenders of a certain age have heard at least once. "It only takes a spark to get a fire going- and soon all those around can warm up in its glowing." The implication is how quickly a tiny spark can start a big, old roaring fire - that's a positive thing, right? - the spark is good; the fire is good; the glow is something you want to warm yourself in. We're talking LOVE, here ... the spark stands for love and the fire stands for a whole lot of love. All good stuff.

Hmmm.

But what if the spark is not about love? What if it's a tiny little bit of ... gossip?

More than that ... what if the spark is a tiny little bit of INCORRECT information? Maybe it's not that tiny even. Maybe ... not intentional, just repeated wrong. They repeated it as XXX when she  only said XX. He said YY instead of YX.  She told him instead of her.  He overheard Purple when it was really Pink. They said no instead of NO.

Or ... what if the listener heard it correctly and then just flat out LIED when he/she repeated what was said? IF it happened in the Garden way back then, it can happen in your school, your workplace, your family ... your church.

The truth is, it's been going on since the dawn of time.

So what to do? How to deal?

Some thoughts.

1. There WILL be confrontational situations caused from any of the above within any group.

2. There are several types of people in any group: Those who like confrontations (and/or start them, live for them, get their kicks from them), those who run from confrontations (i.e. abandon you with mud on your face) and those who try to ride the fence (switch sides according to which way the ill wind blows; save their own skins and let yours burn) ... and all these types CAN keep the pot stirred. (Can, not have to ... it's a choice). And then add the rational types who try to think things through and make up their minds on an issue without being influenced by those who would make trouble.

3..Each of the above may at any given time  show attributes of any or all of these given types. None of us are perfect people!

4. The best way to handle confrontations is A.) diffuse situations before they brew and B.) learn to manage them when they do.

Easily said. Not so easily done.

Back to the title. The 'Unconditional Love' part.

Christians are commanded to show they're Christians by their love.  A guest pastor said this morning that we're called to love our "neighbors" (colleagues, church members, friends, family members etc)as OURSELVES unconditionally. He said I may not LIKE everything he/she does, and I certainly may not agree with his opinion in every matter, and that's okay, but (and this is the biggie ) I still have to love him. And you know what, I'm free to tell him I don't agree with him - in fact, I should tell him (not every one else BUT him - that's where the gossip comes in), but I must not demean myself or him in the manner of doing so ...  that means I want to live with myself afterwards. Just as I need to live/work with the other person afterwards ... in whatever organization or family we're in together. Because there's a tomorrow after our disagreement, and I don't want to burn all the boats. There's more to accomplish; more streets to cross, more bridges to span. We may agree on far more than we disagree. (paraphrased)

I'm thinking about this rationally right now. Here, today ... because this is not the 'heat' of a moment. Today is not the day when a confrontation has sucked out my brain aps and inflicted heart wounds from which I may not recover so quickly. Now is the time for me to think ahead and figure how to best manage a confrontation.

I have a choice. (As you have a choice.)

It's a decision I will choose to make ... how I handle disagreement ... just as forgiveness is a decision I choose when I've been hurt. Weigh these options ... carry a grudge (and act accordingly) or forgive (and act accordingly).

The response to obedience should NOT be to wait until I feel the emotion of forgiveness and then forgive. (There have been times, when, if I'd waited to FEEL forgiveness, I might never have forgiven anyone!) So the correct response when I've hurt someone else? Go to them. Ask their forgiveness. Do it. Afraid? Oh, yeah. What if they're still mad? It's always a possibility. But I'm not responsible for them. (Forgive them for that, too... love 'em, anyway.) Just do it.

And that's what unconditional love is about.

Whatever the condition, love. They did the wrong, love 'em anyway. They didn't mean to, love 'em. They meant to, love 'em. They said they were sorry, love 'em. They didn't say they were sorry, love 'em. They will never EVER say they're sorry ... love them anyway. You were wrong, and now you're sorry and they won't forgive you, love them anyway.

Because, you see, YOU are the only person YOU control. It is only you yourself that you are responsible for in that way. There's stuff in scripture about making excuses, and God made Himself pretty clear about it. Somehow, I don't believe He's going to accept, "But he did it, too." I know my mother never did (every kid knows the classic parental lecture, "So, if she jumped off a two-story building, would you do it, too???")

So. Think about it. Gird yourself in your Unconditional Love-gear.
(and you'll be better able to handle the misinformation and the outright lies)