This is a very trivial list; repeating the items won't change the world; it won't even change my world. These grievances rolled off my tongue in no particular order. If you think I stepped on your toes, don't worry ... It was only a random chance; I don't even know who you are!
Heights. Speed.
*Yep, I'm afraid I have The Fear Factor gene, and it grows in me. (yes, this includes roller coasters and crowded interstates).
Traveling
*Big city traffic.
*Cars that weave in and out on the interstate and cut into the path of other cars who must then brake in order to avoid an accident.
*Road rage (Practice some patience, you).
*Driving on the interstate in a heavy downpour (can you say hydroplane).
*Being blinded by the rain and steam rolling off big trucks as they pass during a heavy downpour.
*Being stuck between two semis (claustrophobic-ally speaking).
*The sign that says Roadwork Ahead or the appearance of construction cones that narrow three lanes down to one and cause a massive, time-consuming, stop-and-go event. (Particularly, when there are time constraints. Extra particularly, if I have to "go." Particularly when you see no work that indicates a need for one lane).
*Concrete barriers on the interstate that eliminate the inner shoulder by the median (it's that claustrophobia thing again).
Shopping and Eating Out
*Sale signs that are misleading to the customer (putting a 60% Off Sign on a table or stand where only a few selected items are on sale or where the placement of a sign is deceptive. (You only learn this when you stood in line at check-out for ten minutes (or more) under the mistaken idea that you can afford your choices).
*Rude service employees - the ones who act impatient or condescending or unkind to other employees or to customers.
*Stores who routinely hire and work less staff than they need (Where is that one clerk when you're ready to check out, not to mention during holidays. Walmart, anyone?)
*Employees who carry on non-work-related conversations with other employees while they are serving you. (I don't really want to hear who your ex-boyfriend is dating now).
*Employees who carry on work-related conversations with each other - while serving you - to trash their employers and/or the store policies or rules (TMI-I don't need to know which employees didn't do their job last shift).
*Adults who scream at their kids in public and make a scene (Even if children are doing something wrong, their behavior should be dealt with privately and quietly).
*Adults who yell hateful and hurtful things at their kids in public, things that tear down a child's sense of worth. (If parents verbally abuse their kids in public, I shudder to think what they say to them at home).
*Adults who "threaten" their children for wrong behavior over and over by making rash statements they have no intention of carrying out or can't carry out ("If you don't stop that we're leaving right now ... " and then never leave. "If you don't quit I'm not taking you to dinner ..." yet they do. "I'm not buying you that toy if you don't stop ... " and half an hour later you pass them with the toy in their basket).
*Adults who are so loud that their voices carry to your booth or table in restaurants (I don't want to know what your husband said last night).
*Adults who use profanity in public, particularly in front of their children. (Especially in front of my children!)
*Parents who claim their child has never told a lie (Seriously?! What's wrong with your child? All children make things up, either intentionally or un-intentionally).
*Parents who claim their child would never do that! (Ha! They probably already have!)
*Parents who make excuses for their child's wrong-doing and blame someone else or the circumstances (The 'devil' made him do it, right?).
*Parents who continually allow their small children to run around in a restaurant or place of business, compromising the safety of other people and/or merchandise (Our family rule when shopping was to clasp our hands behind our backs!)
*Parents who expect others to supervise their children while they have a grand time.
*Parents who act affronted when another adult stops their children from running around in a restaurant or place of business (What's your problem, Person? MY child is doing no harm).
Church
*Churches that welcome only people "like us."
*Churches that pretend to welcome people who are not "like" them, but don't want to deal with issues that arise when those people come.
*Churches that care more about their image than their ministry.
*Churches (and people) that don't separate the sin from the sinner (We ALL sin in some big or small way - some sins are just less private than others).
*Churches that don't change to meet needs (And I'm not talking about changing to become more worldly).
*Church go-ers who care more about their pride and/or feelings than the ministry.
*Church go-ers who must receive praise for all they do and get their feelings hurt if they are accidentally over-looked when the credits roll. (Well, humph, I deserve more recognition than they do!)
*Church go-ers who refuse to compromise when their own pet project doesn't find approval, so they withdraw all support ("I'll just take my toys (i.e. money) for what the majority choose and go home. Not talking heresy here; just plain old, sinful "I-want-my-way crap, and also, my favorite color for the carpet).
*Church go-ers who are so opinionated (about everything) that they can't fathom the possibility of being wrong (about anything).
*Church go-ers who refuse to change, who refuse to forgive or forget the transgressions of others - and act accordingly. (Yeah, that's a Christian attitude. I surely don't want to be held accountable for something I did or said twenty years ago; I really hope I've grown a little in that time and learned something from my mistakes)
*Church go-ers who start a sentence with, "I shouldn't say this, BUT ... "
*Church go-ers who start a sentence with, "Well, I heard that they ... "
*Church go-ers who complain about the preacher, no matter who he is and no matter what he does ... he can never measure up to their standards (Picky, picky, picky).
*Church go-ers who think they must hold the preacher (and/or his family) to a higher set of standards than they have for themselves or other members (The pastoral family already lives in a fishbowl, people. Don't make it harder for them)
*Church go-ers and preachers who overlook issues or behavior or unkindness because they don't want to "rock the boat;" or they're afraid to "upset" or create a problem with a long-standing member (especially if the member tithes in a mighty way).
*Church go-ers who gripe about the habits of everyone else's children ... but theirs can do or did no wrong (they're children, people. None of them are perfect little angels).
*Church go-ers who gripe about the habits of everyone else's children ... but never correct them when they see them doing something wrong (it's a church family ... family watches after Family. Family cares. Family has your back.)
*Church go-ers - alternately - who are furious when you do correct their children (they're kids ... how else will they learn?) Because parents can not be everywhere at once.
*Church go-ers who assume a "holier than thou" attitude.
That's All, Folks. For now.
(I'm afraid this list might not be comprehensive, but I feel lighter for having unburdened myself!)
.
Sunday, July 27, 2014
Tuesday, July 15, 2014
Milestone
Yesterday was my 65th birthday - July 14, 2014. I consider it an "aging" milestone for a variety of reasons.
1. Sixty-five sounds a LOT older to me than sixty-four. It feels as if it should be a milestone.
Just sayin'.
But then, I've never bothered about my age. I turned thirty, forty, fifty and sixty without depression or anxiety (I've told my youngest "child" that it bothered me more when SHE turned thirty and when my oldest turned forty than any of my own birthdays). And so, my sixty-fifth birthday, though it represents a GREAT age, will come and go without causing me to lose sleep!
2. Sixty-five is a good time to stop and take inventory. Being realistic, I have more years behind me than I do ahead of me. I feel very blessed when I look around. My husband and my family (and grand kids, have I mentioned my grandson and granddaughter yet? :-), my home, my church, my friends. I need to step up my praises and thank Him more!
3. Sixty-five is older than my granny was when she died. One day all was well, she was with us; the next day she wasn't. I was in the sixth grade, and her death - the first family loss for me - was a life changer for our family. Being sixty-five reminds me that every day is a gift (the present) and should not be defined by complaints - petty or otherwise - or on the I Wants or the I Have Nots, and definitely not on Worrying about things I can't change. What can I do, what can I be in this sixty-fifth year to make a difference?
4. Sixty-five means Medicare. Oh, me. Don't let me get started on All The Feels about this and other government programs.
We've been fortunate; first, as teachers and then, as retired teachers, to have an excellent health care insurance plan. Affordable and extensive. So a few months before my 65th birthday, I began getting all the messages about how my plan was about to change. Wake-up call! Do I understand it all? Hardly, but since there was no choice - our insurance company hands us over to the government, like it or not - I had to do the paper work and comply. Part A, Part B, Part D: they're swirling around in my head even as I type (IS there a Part C and if not, why not?)! It has yet to be fully tested - hopefully, it won't need to be, and I'll stay healthy, BUT I've got that card!
5. Sixty-five is only FIVE short (the way they fly by these days) years from turning seventy ...
My conclusion?
I'm very blessed.
AND I NEED TO GET TO WORK ON THAT BUCKET LIST!
1. Sixty-five sounds a LOT older to me than sixty-four. It feels as if it should be a milestone.
Just sayin'.
But then, I've never bothered about my age. I turned thirty, forty, fifty and sixty without depression or anxiety (I've told my youngest "child" that it bothered me more when SHE turned thirty and when my oldest turned forty than any of my own birthdays). And so, my sixty-fifth birthday, though it represents a GREAT age, will come and go without causing me to lose sleep!
2. Sixty-five is a good time to stop and take inventory. Being realistic, I have more years behind me than I do ahead of me. I feel very blessed when I look around. My husband and my family (and grand kids, have I mentioned my grandson and granddaughter yet? :-), my home, my church, my friends. I need to step up my praises and thank Him more!
3. Sixty-five is older than my granny was when she died. One day all was well, she was with us; the next day she wasn't. I was in the sixth grade, and her death - the first family loss for me - was a life changer for our family. Being sixty-five reminds me that every day is a gift (the present) and should not be defined by complaints - petty or otherwise - or on the I Wants or the I Have Nots, and definitely not on Worrying about things I can't change. What can I do, what can I be in this sixty-fifth year to make a difference?
4. Sixty-five means Medicare. Oh, me. Don't let me get started on All The Feels about this and other government programs.
We've been fortunate; first, as teachers and then, as retired teachers, to have an excellent health care insurance plan. Affordable and extensive. So a few months before my 65th birthday, I began getting all the messages about how my plan was about to change. Wake-up call! Do I understand it all? Hardly, but since there was no choice - our insurance company hands us over to the government, like it or not - I had to do the paper work and comply. Part A, Part B, Part D: they're swirling around in my head even as I type (IS there a Part C and if not, why not?)! It has yet to be fully tested - hopefully, it won't need to be, and I'll stay healthy, BUT I've got that card!
5. Sixty-five is only FIVE short (the way they fly by these days) years from turning seventy ...
My conclusion?
I'm very blessed.
AND I NEED TO GET TO WORK ON THAT BUCKET LIST!
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
Rant alert: Entitlement
Rant Alert! Proceed with CAUTION.
Have you heard this before?
"What is this world coming to? (followed by a complaint). Or If there's one thing wrong with people, it's (you fill in the blank)."
I hear similar statements from friends, on Facebook, Twitter and on the news. To varying degrees, what I hear falls somewhere on my personal list of Things I Don't Like. Sometimes I can see both sides of a particular complaint. Sometimes I "see" it but am not as passionately opposed as the person who voiced it. But maybe I don't agree at all. Nearly everyone has a pet peeve agenda, and I don't expect to agree with everyone, nor do I expect everyone to share all of mine.
Having said that, here is one I feel strongly about. If there's one thing wrong with people and our country, it is our ridiculous sense of entitlement.
This is no new rant of mine, so what sparked this particular one?
I read a Letter to the Editor in our local newspaper Monday morning that astonished me. Infuriated me actually. Those reactions are the inspiration for this blog post. Let me recap the letter.
Elderly travelers passing through our city, the mid-point of their destination, were stopped and given a $25 ticket due to a seat belt violation. Based on what the letter writer called a "decision" by the city policeman (to give them a ticket instead of a warning) these tourists will no longer make a stopover here, thus depriving the city of "their money." The letter writer acknowledged that her husband was wrong not to buckle his seat belt, but a warning would have done "just as much good."
Now, I know no one wants a ticket. No one likes getting a ticket even when they know they broke a law (speeding, anyone?). That's a given. But seriously? First, she infers that the policeman made a "decision" - all on his own judgement, apparently - to give them a ticket. Targeted THEM. FLEECED them of $25 just to INCONVENIENCE them. Because what, after all, does a seat belt law mean? (It's for others, right?) And second, they ran home to Missouri and asked their state trooper son to agree with them. Shame on him that he did (or at least, that's what she wrote. I find it hard to believe that a state trooper would actually agree).
This is wrong on so many levels.
It's like the old "if you don't play the way I want, I'll take my toys and go home" mentality. That may have worked for children in the sandbox, but that doesn't mean it's okay or right for adults. We're supposed to have gained some maturity and learned some values in the interval between the sandbox and the adult world. But the prevailing sense of entitlement we've developed (we're probably all guilty of it to some degree) gets in the way.
I can do anything I want, even if it hurts or affects others, because it's what I want.
I'm entitled to my own opinion ...
It's a free country, so I deserve ....
It's the other guy's fault (he did it first).
It's a stupid law, anyway.
Everyone else does it (so that makes it okay, right?)
The government should pay for it (as long as they don't raise my taxes).
It's not fair ...
There's a reason the word selfish begins with self!
We feel we are entitled to whatever it is that we want - that we deserve our wants - regardless of how that might affect other individuals, the group as a whole, or the community where we live. We see this attitude in all aspects of life, both public and private. Entitlement is the attitude behind racial prejudice and other kinds of minority biases. It's one cause of the current "rape culture" so unfortunately prevalent in the news headlines. It is the reason for bullying in our schools and the workforce. It's the foundation for politicians who misuse their power and position to push their own agenda, for evangelists who just preach a "name it-claim it" style of gospel, for parents who believe their child is the only one in the classroom and can do no wrong, and for husbands and wives who demonstrate little commitment to the marriage (do you know the definition of the word marriage? It's a BLEND, folks, a compromise). This growing sense of entitlement has induced a generation or more of kids and adults who have not learned to take responsibility for their own actions (we all make mistakes), and it is a vicious cycle. As our personal sense of responsibility ebbs, our personal sense of entitlement grows ... and eventually becomes a corporate problem.
Entitlement is the reason ridiculous law suits clog up court agendas. A woman spilled her hot coffee, it burned her, and she sued. The woman felt entitled. It was not her responsibility when she spilled her coffee. Well, duh. Engage brain here; coffee is hot. But McDonald's must now warn people in writing that their coffee is hot. Multiply that type of law suit a zillion times.
A good Samaritan stops to help an injured driver. He's not a doctor, just a person who sees a need and wants to help. He acts - perhaps trained medical personnel would do it differently, but none are present - he's sued for attempting to help someone. Result: pass on by when you see someone lying by the road after an accident. Turn the other way when you see a classmate bullied at school. Close your ears if a friend is teased or harassed at work.
Multiply that sense of entitlement a zillion times and you have what's wrong with our country today.
It is the reason a woman wrote a complaining letter to the local newspaper when a policeman ticketed her husband for not buckling his seat belt. She implied her reasons (i.e. justifications, excuses) ... they were "older now." They had just stopped and he forgot. They were going slowly. They were admiring the "lovely" city sites. They were tourists, spending money to boost the city's economy. They believe the policeman "decided" to ticket them, rather than seeing what he did as his job, enforcing a state law. Bottomline: we expect you to overlook our mistake because we were doing all these other good things. We expect you to let us get away with breaking a law: the policeman doesn't have to let others get away with it when they're caught, but we deserve special treatment because of all these "reasons" above.
By the way, Kentucky has had a "primary" seat belt law since 2007. This means a person can be stopped and cited if anyone in the car fails to buckle a seat belt. The ticket can not exceed $25 per person. The letter writer believes they should have only been warned. There WAS a warning period ... it was over in 2006. I looked it up and found that Missouri has a "secondary" seat belt law, meaning that a ticket can only be issued for being unbuckled if the car was stopped for some other cit-able offence, like speeding, for example. The letter writer may not know the difference. However, the law doesn't usually find "But officer, I didn't know" as an excuse. Attention travelers: most states have seat belt laws. It is your responsibility to follow the laws of the states you pass through and to understand that there are consequences when you don't! It might also be helpful - when whining on the editorial page - to remember that old adage: "Better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."
Teach your children that they bear responsibility and reap consequences for their actions. It will help them grow into mature adults. Teach them that an entitlement mentality fosters a poor grasp on reality; the bigger the chip-on-the-shoulder, the ruder the wake-up call when their denial and sense of special-ness meet the real world. Teach your children the value of sacrifice and goodwill, of kindness and personal responsibility and compromise. Show them by word and deed that you believe it yourself. That will help break the chain in the increasing sense of entitlement spreading like kudzu in our country.
And maybe then they won't grow up to write whiny letters to the editor.
Rant over.
Have you heard this before?
"What is this world coming to? (followed by a complaint). Or If there's one thing wrong with people, it's (you fill in the blank)."
I hear similar statements from friends, on Facebook, Twitter and on the news. To varying degrees, what I hear falls somewhere on my personal list of Things I Don't Like. Sometimes I can see both sides of a particular complaint. Sometimes I "see" it but am not as passionately opposed as the person who voiced it. But maybe I don't agree at all. Nearly everyone has a pet peeve agenda, and I don't expect to agree with everyone, nor do I expect everyone to share all of mine.
Having said that, here is one I feel strongly about. If there's one thing wrong with people and our country, it is our ridiculous sense of entitlement.
This is no new rant of mine, so what sparked this particular one?
I read a Letter to the Editor in our local newspaper Monday morning that astonished me. Infuriated me actually. Those reactions are the inspiration for this blog post. Let me recap the letter.
Elderly travelers passing through our city, the mid-point of their destination, were stopped and given a $25 ticket due to a seat belt violation. Based on what the letter writer called a "decision" by the city policeman (to give them a ticket instead of a warning) these tourists will no longer make a stopover here, thus depriving the city of "their money." The letter writer acknowledged that her husband was wrong not to buckle his seat belt, but a warning would have done "just as much good."
Now, I know no one wants a ticket. No one likes getting a ticket even when they know they broke a law (speeding, anyone?). That's a given. But seriously? First, she infers that the policeman made a "decision" - all on his own judgement, apparently - to give them a ticket. Targeted THEM. FLEECED them of $25 just to INCONVENIENCE them. Because what, after all, does a seat belt law mean? (It's for others, right?) And second, they ran home to Missouri and asked their state trooper son to agree with them. Shame on him that he did (or at least, that's what she wrote. I find it hard to believe that a state trooper would actually agree).
This is wrong on so many levels.
It's like the old "if you don't play the way I want, I'll take my toys and go home" mentality. That may have worked for children in the sandbox, but that doesn't mean it's okay or right for adults. We're supposed to have gained some maturity and learned some values in the interval between the sandbox and the adult world. But the prevailing sense of entitlement we've developed (we're probably all guilty of it to some degree) gets in the way.
I can do anything I want, even if it hurts or affects others, because it's what I want.
I'm entitled to my own opinion ...
It's a free country, so I deserve ....
It's the other guy's fault (he did it first).
It's a stupid law, anyway.
Everyone else does it (so that makes it okay, right?)
The government should pay for it (as long as they don't raise my taxes).
It's not fair ...
There's a reason the word selfish begins with self!
We feel we are entitled to whatever it is that we want - that we deserve our wants - regardless of how that might affect other individuals, the group as a whole, or the community where we live. We see this attitude in all aspects of life, both public and private. Entitlement is the attitude behind racial prejudice and other kinds of minority biases. It's one cause of the current "rape culture" so unfortunately prevalent in the news headlines. It is the reason for bullying in our schools and the workforce. It's the foundation for politicians who misuse their power and position to push their own agenda, for evangelists who just preach a "name it-claim it" style of gospel, for parents who believe their child is the only one in the classroom and can do no wrong, and for husbands and wives who demonstrate little commitment to the marriage (do you know the definition of the word marriage? It's a BLEND, folks, a compromise). This growing sense of entitlement has induced a generation or more of kids and adults who have not learned to take responsibility for their own actions (we all make mistakes), and it is a vicious cycle. As our personal sense of responsibility ebbs, our personal sense of entitlement grows ... and eventually becomes a corporate problem.
Entitlement is the reason ridiculous law suits clog up court agendas. A woman spilled her hot coffee, it burned her, and she sued. The woman felt entitled. It was not her responsibility when she spilled her coffee. Well, duh. Engage brain here; coffee is hot. But McDonald's must now warn people in writing that their coffee is hot. Multiply that type of law suit a zillion times.
A good Samaritan stops to help an injured driver. He's not a doctor, just a person who sees a need and wants to help. He acts - perhaps trained medical personnel would do it differently, but none are present - he's sued for attempting to help someone. Result: pass on by when you see someone lying by the road after an accident. Turn the other way when you see a classmate bullied at school. Close your ears if a friend is teased or harassed at work.
Multiply that sense of entitlement a zillion times and you have what's wrong with our country today.
It is the reason a woman wrote a complaining letter to the local newspaper when a policeman ticketed her husband for not buckling his seat belt. She implied her reasons (i.e. justifications, excuses) ... they were "older now." They had just stopped and he forgot. They were going slowly. They were admiring the "lovely" city sites. They were tourists, spending money to boost the city's economy. They believe the policeman "decided" to ticket them, rather than seeing what he did as his job, enforcing a state law. Bottomline: we expect you to overlook our mistake because we were doing all these other good things. We expect you to let us get away with breaking a law: the policeman doesn't have to let others get away with it when they're caught, but we deserve special treatment because of all these "reasons" above.
By the way, Kentucky has had a "primary" seat belt law since 2007. This means a person can be stopped and cited if anyone in the car fails to buckle a seat belt. The ticket can not exceed $25 per person. The letter writer believes they should have only been warned. There WAS a warning period ... it was over in 2006. I looked it up and found that Missouri has a "secondary" seat belt law, meaning that a ticket can only be issued for being unbuckled if the car was stopped for some other cit-able offence, like speeding, for example. The letter writer may not know the difference. However, the law doesn't usually find "But officer, I didn't know" as an excuse. Attention travelers: most states have seat belt laws. It is your responsibility to follow the laws of the states you pass through and to understand that there are consequences when you don't! It might also be helpful - when whining on the editorial page - to remember that old adage: "Better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."
Teach your children that they bear responsibility and reap consequences for their actions. It will help them grow into mature adults. Teach them that an entitlement mentality fosters a poor grasp on reality; the bigger the chip-on-the-shoulder, the ruder the wake-up call when their denial and sense of special-ness meet the real world. Teach your children the value of sacrifice and goodwill, of kindness and personal responsibility and compromise. Show them by word and deed that you believe it yourself. That will help break the chain in the increasing sense of entitlement spreading like kudzu in our country.
And maybe then they won't grow up to write whiny letters to the editor.
Rant over.
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